nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
can u get pink eye on your cock?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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