I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
