I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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