He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I can't trust your balls anymore.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
