Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
