Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
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