so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
