idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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