i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
