$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
So much Jack, so little girl.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
