2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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