After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
