So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize