Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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