I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
