I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
You've changed since you got that strap on
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize