HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
