just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Randomize
