so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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