I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
He's on the porch naked. Help.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
