Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
