I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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