I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
