we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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