I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
