Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
