Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
