I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
he wants to bone in the snuggie
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
