Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
