you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
