I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
this is an emotional support booty call
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
