If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Randomize
