Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
