I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
