he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
