We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
