once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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