dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
