I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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