thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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