i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
