sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
