im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
