Have you finally orgasmed yet?
that's an acceptable place to lick
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
