There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Btw I puked in your glovebox
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
