she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
