Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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