how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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