The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
