She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
