he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
