I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize
