just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
