Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
