Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
